September 28, 2024 — It was the dawn of a new chapter, and yet, it felt like a closing door. Across America, parents stood at the thresholds of college dorms, their hearts pulled in two directions. Pride swelled in their chests, and yet, an aching sadness filled their eyes. To watch a child leave the nest is to witness a piece of yourself begin to fly, but not without first feeling the weight of its absence.
This emotional dance—this mix of joy and sorrow—is familiar to many. It’s what we call sentimientos encontrados, or conflicting emotions. And while the world of science has long struggled to understand this experience, the human heart knows it well.
Can the Mind Hold Two Opposing Emotions?
In the scientific world, for years, emotions have been viewed as an either-or affair. One might think that the brain only feels one thing at a time—either happiness or sadness, never both. But the reality of human experience suggests otherwise.
As parents watched their children walk toward new beginnings, they carried both pride and sadness in their hearts. The question is: can the brain truly process two opposing emotions at once? Or does it simply bounce back and forth between them?
The science of emociones contradictorias tells us this isn’t just a question of feeling—it’s a question of how the brain works.
The Biology Behind Sentimientos Encontrados
In the past, researchers often measured emotions on a single scale: from negative to positive. This suggested that joy and sorrow couldn’t coexist. But as we observe the emotional lives of real people, this belief seems too narrow. Life, after all, rarely gives us pure joy or pure sadness. It gives us both—often at the same time.
Consider the pride and pain parents feel when they leave their children at college for the first time. It’s a moment full of emociones mixtas, where the heart feels a bittersweet pull. And now, scientists are beginning to understand that this emotional complexity reflects the deeper workings of the brain.
Research using resonancia magnética funcional (fMRI) has uncovered fascinating insights. When participants were shown an emotionally charged film about a young girl’s dream to become an astronaut—supported by her loving father who later passes away—they reported feeling both proud and heartbroken. This is a classic example of emotions found in conflict, where happiness and grief exist together, not separately.
How the Brain Processes Mixed Emotions
What happens in the brain during such moments? In studies, areas like the corteza insular and cuerpo amigdalino—regions that typically process emotions like joy and fear—respond as though these emotions were separate. But deeper research reveals something more.
Scientists discovered that the córtex del cíngulo anterior, a part of the brain that helps us navigate conflict and uncertainty, plays a crucial role in managing sentimientos encontrados. It allows us to feel both joy and sadness at the same time, integrating them into a single, complex experience.
For example, parents leaving their child at college may feel sadness over the goodbye, but their brains also register pride in the same moment. These emociones mixtas aren’t switching back and forth—they exist together, creating a fuller emotional landscape.
Why Mixed Emotions Matter for Growth
Experiencing conflicting emotions is a normal, healthy part of life. In fact, emotions found in conflict can help us grow and adapt to life’s most significant changes. When you hold both sadness and joy, you are embracing the complexity of life, rather than trying to simplify it.
For parents, this complexity is especially evident when watching their child take the first steps into independence. The mix of pride and grief reflects their love, their hopes, and their fears. It’s in these moments of dual emotions that we grow—where we learn to accept that happiness doesn’t always mean the absence of pain.
Finding Peace Amid Emotional Conflict
When we face life’s biggest changes, it’s natural to feel torn between opposing feelings. But the ability to feel both—to hold joy and sorrow in the same hand—is what makes us deeply human.
Perhaps, like those parents standing on the edge of their child’s future, we too can learn to sit with sentimientos encontrados. We can find comfort in knowing that our brains, like our hearts, are built to handle this dance of emotions. Instead of choosing between one feeling or the other, we can honor them both, allowing them to exist in harmony.
In the end, life is often a balance between joy and sorrow, love and loss, pride and pain. And it’s in these moments—where we hold two feelings at once—that we find the strength to move forward, to grow, and to truly live.
