BTN News: Michael Vargas Arango, a 22-year-old psychology student living in Miami, has faced a lifetime of challenges navigating the complexities of mental illness. Diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder—a condition that blends symptoms of schizophrenia with mood disorders—Michael’s experience is marked by hallucinations, emotional instability, and a constant struggle against societal stigma. But rather than letting his diagnosis define him, Michael has become an advocate, using his voice to challenge the misconceptions around mental health. His story, which began in the turbulent streets of Medellín’s Comuna 13, offers a powerful narrative of resilience and a call to break down the stigmas that surround mental disorders.
Haunted by Invisible Presences: Early Signs of a Disorder
From a young age, Michael Vargas Arango felt “strange presences” when entering certain places or meeting specific people. Raised in the tough neighborhood of San Javier, Comuna 13 in Medellín, Colombia, Michael often played alone, but in his mind, he was never by himself. He recalls spending hours playing chess or Xbox with his friend “Felipe,” a companion he vividly remembers but who, to others, simply did not exist.
“My mother would see me playing alone and became worried,” Michael recounts. “She thought I was communicating with spirits or maybe possessed.” Concerned, his devoutly Catholic mother took him to a priest, hoping to find answers or solace. As these episodes continued, people around him began to view his experiences as a divine gift—a perspective that would gradually turn into a source of immense distress.
A New Beginning: Moving to Envigado
When his family relocated to Envigado, a quieter town near Medellín, Michael’s life took a brighter turn. For the first time, he could play soccer with neighborhood kids, take part in swimming, and even excel at table tennis. Yet, amid these newfound joys, he began to notice something more troubling—intense negative sensations triggered by certain people or places, especially during periods of strong emotions. “I felt physically sick being in some locations, like someone was stabbing me in the spine,” he shares.
Living with Schizoaffective Disorder: A Daily Battle
As Michael grew older, his symptoms became harder to ignore. He began experiencing a disconnect between his actions and memories. “It felt like I was sharing my mind with someone else, like I wasn’t the only one driving my body,” he explains. Michael would find conversations on his phone he didn’t remember having and hear voices, often incomprehensible, that seemed to speak in a foreign language, “like Hebrew.”
These auditory hallucinations were most frequent during periods of high stress, such as when he was falling asleep. Ironically, the voices fell silent during one of his darkest moments—a suicide attempt. “I took a bottle of pills and only survived because I vomited them up,” he reveals. This event marked a turning point in his understanding of his mental health.
Diagnosis and Understanding: The Path to Acceptance
Following the suicide attempt, Michael sought psychiatric help and finally received a diagnosis: schizoaffective disorder of the mixed type, coupled with an emotionally unstable personality disorder. “It was a relief to have a name for what I was experiencing,” he says, “but it also came with the realization that I had become one of the people I had once considered ‘crazy.’”
Michael began to educate himself about his condition, learning that schizophrenia is often hereditary, with a high likelihood of being passed down from generation to generation. This led him to reflect on his family’s history, including his grandfather, who was known for his explosive temper and mysterious disappearance from a psychiatric hospital.
A Turning Point: Finding Purpose in Advocacy
Determined not to let his diagnosis define him, Michael focused on advocating for mental health awareness. He participated in a podcast challenge hosted by NPR, creating an eight-minute audio piece titled “The Monsters We Create.” In this podcast, he challenges the misconceptions about schizophrenia and shares his personal journey, a piece that went on to win the NPR Podcast Challenge, beating out over 500 entries from across the United States.
Michael’s podcast uses creative sound design, layering ghostly voices over his narration to mimic his experience of auditory hallucinations. The success of this project has fueled his mission to educate others, showing that people living with mental illness can still lead meaningful, productive lives.
Facing Stigma: A Daily Reality for Many
Even as he advocates for change, Michael faces stigma in his personal life. “My girlfriend didn’t want me to tell her friends about my diagnosis, not because she was ashamed, but because she wanted them to know me as a person first,” he explains. Though her intentions were protective, it was a blow to his self-esteem.
This experience motivated Michael to continue speaking out. “I want to break down the prejudices that even I had before my diagnosis,” he says. “Everyone is dealing with something, but that doesn’t make them any less capable or valuable.”
Conclusion: Breaking the Silence Around Mental Health
Today, Michael Vargas Arango leads a relatively normal life as a student in Miami, supported by his studies in psychology and his relationship with a supportive partner. Yet, he continues to face and fight the stigma that surrounds his condition. His story is not just about living with schizoaffective disorder but about redefining what it means to live with mental illness.
His message is clear: “Everyone has struggles, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less of a person. We need to change how we talk about mental health, not just for those diagnosed but for everyone.”
